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HODL In Hell!

April 2, 2021 2 comments

While posing for my future wake, I sensed the ice cold presence of the dastardly Emperor Of All Maladies in the room. The repugnant monster has a dilemma on his creaky, boney hands when it comes to BD00. He doesn’t want to drag BD00 off to hell until he gets those claws on his Bitcoin private keys. But BD00 will never give them up. They’re gonna burn with him in hell.

BTW, does anyone know where I can get a Bitcoin couch to add to my swag collection? I checked on Wayfair, Ikea, and Etsy, but alas, it’s a no go.

Update: 1 Hour After Publishing

My good friend Jeff just sent me the link to this beauty…

It’s on order!

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Bitcoin Karen Dole Pants

March 22, 2021 Leave a comment

Before reading further, please consider that a dastardly potion of klonopin, opdivo, gabapentin, and cannabis chemicals are partially responsible for the inane content of the following post. Add in a dash of Hunter S. Thompson, Howard Stern, and Charles Bukowski, and you may get a glimpse into the awful nature of the force that poked at the keyboard during the construction of this post. The rest of the writing (dis)credit goes to BD00’s formally documented propensity for behaving like a total asshole and to his tightly-coupled co-author, the ever present Emperor Of All Maladies. The ever omniscient and omnipresent EOAM has been a constant co-author to BD00’s verbal spewings for what seems like forever now. Come to think of it, it feels like the EOAM has been dwelling in his head waaaay before the big C diagnosis.

While listening to another wise but whacky Herbert and Keiser Orange Pill Podcast, bitcoiner Mad Max brought up the name of one of the most annoying Bitcoin Karens on record, economist Nouriel Roubini. When Max launched into his Roubini rant, an image of Roubini in Bob Dole pants immediately came to mind, followed by a few other Bitcoin Karens outfitted in Dole pants. It was an uncontrollable, free association event that led to the creation of this NFT worthy graphic.

So that’s it. That’s the post. Pretty immature and cray cray, no? Why would anyone expect anything different from an insane Bitcoin Q. Maximalist like BD00?

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer Tags: ,

The Bitcoin Cancel Culture

March 15, 2021 Leave a comment

BD00 thinks all this fussin’ ’bout “cancel culture” is much ado ’bout nuthin’. But wait! There’s one humongous, earth-shattering, cancellation looming on the horizon. It’s the impending global cancellation of untrustworthy, government-controlled, fiat by the sovereign-individual controlled Bitcoin.

But alas my friends and enemas, the odds are bigly strong that BD00 will not experience one of the greatest resets in human history before the Emperor Of All Maladies cancels him. 😦

Put another way….

Yellin’ At Yellen!!!

March 10, 2021 Leave a comment

In order to get his fine art creations onto the blockchain before the NFT crypto fad is over, mentally disturbed Jackson “BD00” Pollack is frantically throwing shite on a visio canvas again. lol

After yellin’ at Yellen, BDOO then tried to haplessly troll the Emperor.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer Tags:

The Bitcoin Karen Cycle

Do you remember the “Karen” internet meme? I don’t recall the details, but for those not up to date on almost-recent events, Karen was, and no doubt still is, a chronic whiner/complainer who was caught on video raging at the counter of a convenience store about some trivial inconvenience. The video went viral and Karen had her 15 minutes of fame.

Karen reminds me of all the newly minted Bitcoin critics who crawl out of the woodwork like clockwork approximately every 2 years. These Siskel & Eberts complain about the most common criticisms of Bitcoin as if they were the first gifted people in the world to unmask Bitcoin’s dastardly underbelly. You know the type, those elite but un-informed experts (like me!) who rush to judgment on novel ideas that they’ve only superficially looked into. They’re too lazy for a deep dive and it’s in their self-interest to trash Bitcoin so that it doesn’t destroy their mental model of what hard money is and how Bitcoin is chomping away at that flat-earth model. Nom, nom, nom.

As you might deduce, many pro-Bitcoiners have put forth counter-arguments for each existential risk that the Karen Klan conjures up. Despite the periodic ruckus from the peanut gallery, Bitcoin has marched forward on its mission from god to finally hold the crooked, “capitalize the gains, socialize the losses“, bankstas to account. The grand experiment to destroy the middlemen who stand (backed by force) between you and your money and debase the dollar whenever it’s politically convenient to do so is still going strong.

Blessing The Nations Through The Covenant With Abraham ...
Categories: Cancer Tags:

A Bloated, Runaway, Bureaucratic, Quagmire Of A System

February 24, 2021 Leave a comment

In the midst of one of those, what BD00 calls, “Opdivo-induced systemic flareups”, I discovered that forcing myself to play in my blog sandbox during each event siphons most of my attention away from the numbness, crampy-ness, ear-ringing, fire-feet, wobbliness, etc, symptoms that characterize a flareup. The only other non-drug therapeutic that does the same trick is zooming with my fam and buds. It’s difficult to articulate the shift of attention, but it feels like the energy being used to animate the flareup gets rerouted into my mind to get one last blog post out into the world before… the fit hits the shan and my blogging days go kaput. Seriously, if I didn’t have the Emperor and his Orc army roaming the recesses of my body hunting for ways to wreak havoc while simultaneously avoiding the Opdivo resistance, I would not have written the previous macabre sentence.

After navigating the dangerous waters between two health insurance transitions last year, I finally settled into using medicare for the duration to pay for healthcare services. Since I’m a well known “regular” patient to my cancer doctors, nurses, and CT/MRI imaging providers, you would think that their billing services wouldn’t screw up my bills anymore, right? Bzzzzzt, no, no. Observe the latest 2 redacted bills I just received in the mail:

In an obvious exercise of incompetence, the first bill was never even submitted to medicare. The un-itemized, one line, bill was sent directly to me. WTF! On the upside, when I called the billing department they were very accommodating. The service rep recognized and fessed up to the mistake immediately. She apologized and said that whoever screwed up would be getting a nasty email for being a lazy ass.

The mistake on the second bill was that whoever composed it entered the wrong “negotiated discount” for the healthcare service provided. It was off by over $1600 in their favor, of course! After calling the billing department, I once again was treated well and the issue has been resolved (I think?). It’s very sad to see this note on the bill: “If you are currently in bankruptcy please disregard this notice.

Whenever I have to do battle with the screwed up US healthcare system, it makes me think of those poor souls who are not equipped to joust with, or are incapable of jousting with, the system’s maddening Byzantine behavior and lack of compassion for the very people it was designed to serve. It’s a bloated, runaway, bureaucratic, quagmire of a system that only cares about self-preservation and has totally abdicated its original purpose of helping sick people to get well. It’s a classic Ackoffian, dysfunctional system where the vast majority of the people performing the system’s internal functions are good, caring people but the system behavior as a whole is hostile and abhorrent to external system users.

In keeping with my recent tradition of somehow hawking Bitcoin in each post for your future salvation during the upcoming financial apocalypse, I present to you my newest Bitcoin swag item below. It’s a well crafted, hot/cold bottle that I bought off of Etsy from a seller in England. Kudos to whoever conjured up the cheeky motto: “Mass Adoption One Bottle At A Time.

Categories: Cancer

The Bitcoin Smiley Model

February 18, 2021 2 comments

Before writing about the intended content of this post, I felt compelled to whine and complain about my physical status in the moment. So, here goes.

My feet are vibrating and numb from the ankles down, my toes are involuntarily curled up, my ears are ringing, my right leg feels like it’s loosely coupled to my hip with badly frayed strings, my right leg muscles are fatigued and crampy from an unrelenting tightness, the arthritis in my right shoulder is inflamed to the point where it painfully limits my arm motion, my sense of balance is quite wobbly due to a low level of continuous dizziness, and my mind is in a Schoedinger’s cat superposition of both a dunkin’ “explorer batch” coffee high and a cannabis brownie high.

Since I think my Opdivo-juiced immune system T-cells are on another impromptu, instantaneous rampage searching for more poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma cancer cells to annihilate, I think the swarm is once again responsible for the above-mentioned collateral damage. The tradeoff is surely worth it, but the next time I see my oncologist after my upcoming CT scan I’m going to discuss the possibility of taking what we in the community call a “chemo holiday“.

Now that I got the poor-me cancer complaint off my chest, it’s time to talk about Bitcoin yet again. At some unknown point in time, the Bitcoin Smiley Model (BSM) crossed the chasm in my mind from formless energy to a formed thought. The BSM is a simplified abstraction of the following bitcoin price chart from Bitcoin advocate Dan “HODL” Held. And yes, his real last name is “Held”. Thus, he was destined to be a Bitcoiner at birth.

As I studied the chart of successive parabolas, it looked as though it was smiling at me. Hence, after an uncontrollable but innate urge to create consumed me and directed my attention away from my physical distress, I iteratively doodled in visio in a high speed mode where thoughts for improvements raced through my mind faster than I could capture and draw them. When I felt satisfied with the look and feel of the “done done” product, I stopped and reveled in the sacred moment of communication between the creator and the created. With that said, I share with you my masterpiece, the BSM…

The model suggests that the price of Bitcoin may bump up against a ceiling sometime in the future. The value of the ceiling is a newly discovered universal constant, kBDOO , named after its discoverer, me, BD00. Since our lord Satoshi, the god of money, is the only other person on earth to know what the value of kBDOO is, BD00 has made a pact with Satoshi to keep it secret for the good of all mankind. But once again, don’t forget…

But wait! I don’t make any of the cancer shit up. It’s the real deal. It’s the non-cancer stuff that I make up.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Just Get Me To The Next Treatment

February 12, 2021 4 comments

One of the deceased members of my MRCG (see formal ID cards below) was a scrappy fighter and a role model for our cancer caucus. Except for the inevitable final encounter with the infamous Emperor-Of-All-Maladies, Amy knew how to put a whuppin’ on the Emperor whenever he got too close. One of Amy’s many inspirational nuggets of wisdom is:

Just Get Me To The Next Treatment

The quip is meant to convey the bright hope that as each treatment starts failing to halt the Emperor’s advance, a newly FDA-Approved or heavily-scrutinized clinical trial regimen would be ready for her to latch onto before the looming final existential encounter. I don’t know how many treatment types Amy endured, but there were many. One of our other heroic MRCG members, Tracy B., is on her freakin’ 23rd treatment regimen! This exceptional woman is as indestructible as the Bitcoin honey badger. (I had to shill Bitcoin in this post somehow).

Image result for bitcoin honey badger

So back to me, because it’s all about me, damn it! I’m currently on treatment regimen number three and still a mere grunt in a platoon of battletested MRCG veterans. I don’t know what my next chemo cocktail will turn out to be because there s no official checklist to follow. It “depends” on how my physical situation changes and how fast those changes occur.

However, whenever I stumble upon news like this…..

….it boosts my spirits because I always think of Amy: “That may be my next treatment!“.

Categories: Cancer Tags: ,

Satoshi And Me

February 8, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Cranio Crawdad

January 18, 2021 3 comments

In the interest of ongoing full disclosure (lol), here’s the report from my latest brain MRI performed on 1/12/21:

I’m waaaaaay past the point of being intimidated by all the med-speak, but “craniocaudad” did catch my eye as a funny new word. I pronounced it as “cranio-crawdad” as I read it and laughed out loud as memories of eating real crawdads and drinking hurricanes at Mardi Gras flooded my tumor-tinted brain. I laughed again as I googled it and learned that it was spelled wrong. Its correct spelling is “craniocaudal” and it describes a dimension in a 3D coordinate system whose origin is anchored to the skull somewhere.

The MRI follow up with my neurosurgeon took place an hour after the scan. It occurred in my car outside the doctor’s office, which is in the building right next door to the MRI place. Don’t be silly, the doctor didn’t walk out to the car and give me the news from the passenger seat. He wanted me to be easily accessible in case the MRI showed something ominous and he needed to physically examine me.

We held an iPhone telemedicine session and as soon as his face came online he said my favorite meditation mantra: “it looks exactly like the last scan“. And with that, we were done after 5 more minutes of exchanging pleasantries.

Whew! I’ve been gifted yet another three month reprieve from being consumed by scary thoughts of being cyberknifed again or having my skull drilled open to excise some emperor turds. Onward to next month’s chest/abdomen/pelvis CT scan.

Categories: Cancer Tags:
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