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Global Wooziness

I had my tri-monthly brain MRI scan last week. I scored 2 “goods” to the Emperor’s 1 “bad“.

The words “chronic hemorrhage” sound disturbingly like my death is imminent, courtesy of the sword of Damocles. The saving grace is that it’s not the first time those morbid words have appeared in one of my MRI reports. The initial shock and fear have worn off. Instead of shitting my pants, I now just say “meh” whenever I see those dastardly zingers, which is always, because they seem to appear in every MRI report. According to those reports the hemorrhaging never stops. But it must stop sometime, no? Wouldn’t my brain suffocate in a pool of blood? I guess not, because I’m still here.

At least the hemorrhaging is only chronic, not acute, and it’s only localized to each radioactive tumor site. It’s not a diffuse, “intracranial” hemorrhage, which I think would render me tits up in no time flat. It seems like there’s a never-ending, bloody war of attrition being waged at each of the tumor battle sites between cancer cells, radioactive cells, Opdivo, and healthy cells. The hemorrhaging blood is a byproduct of this nasty, multi-party, conflict taking place inside of my thick skull.

Since how I physically feel changes frequently (sometimes even intra-daily), the ebbing and flowing “war of attrition” metaphor could be the reason for the large swings. Right now, at the moment of writing this post, I’m feeling an elevated sense of “global wooziness“. It’s not like dizzy, it’s not lightheadedness, it’s somewhere in between. It’s not like drunk, it’s not like stoned, it’s somewhere in between. When I turn my head fast, it feels like there’s a time delay between the physical head turn and when my attention catches up to where my head gets finally positioned. They’re out of synch, lol.

Along with the global wooziness infiltrating my consciousness, there’s an increased level of ringing in my ears; and my feet and calves are so numb that I can feel them vibrating through my socks. The good thing is that the vibrations are masking the peripheral nerve pain in my feet that coexists with the numbness.

All or some of these side effects from the war of attrition going on in my head can subside or escalate at any time. Sustained physical activity that increases my heart rate, like walking or vigorous stretching, magnifies the symptoms at least temporarily. It is what it is and I’m dealing with it delightfully.

Happy thanksgiving. Gobble gobble!

Categories: Cancer
  1. B miller
    November 29, 2021 at 2:30 am

    Hi, have you been able to feel the spiritual power behind the 3 principles yet? The realization struck my soul pretty powerfully. I dont think anything is blocking you from it, it may just be you haven’t hit rock bottom yet in life. lol.

    • November 30, 2021 at 3:17 pm

      Hi there. I did feel the power of 3P many years ago. However, like all the other paths I pursued for spiritual enlightenment, it simply wore off. Nothing I tried over the years has “stuck” with me.

      • B miller
        November 30, 2021 at 4:29 pm

        I’m sorry to hear that. Thanks for this blog, I’m enjoying 😄

      • November 30, 2021 at 5:22 pm

        I’m happy that you’re liking it.

  2. craig
    November 30, 2021 at 11:46 am

    Thanks for the update, Keep pushing! …. Gads, I worked for GE Medical in early 80’s sometimes I wish I stayed with them and helped them progress imaging. The things MRI/NMR can do is absolutely awesome!

    • November 30, 2021 at 3:14 pm

      Hi Craig! Thanks for checking in on me and your words of encouragement. Knowing what I know now, I think I would have used my engineering skills to work on medical equipment instead of radars. 👍❤️

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