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You’re Full Of Bullae And Blebs!

In prep for my upcoming tri-monthly scanxiety day, I re-reviewed my March chest/abdomen/pelvis CT scan report. I did it so I can once again fake being intelligent at the follow up with my oncologist. The “lungs” section of the report is presented below for your HIPAA reading pleasure.

I can’t believe I didn’t jump on the “Bullae And Blebs” terminology on my first go-around. Well, I’m not gonna pass up the chance now. There is no feckin’ way I’m NOT going to publish a post with “Bullae And Blebs” in the title before the emperor has the last laugh. So, here it is, this is the post.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer Tags: ,

A Detour From All The Giddiness

April 15, 2021 Leave a comment

I feel the need to make a detour from all the giddiness in the Bitcoin community to broadcast an update on my physical condition. I’ve been waking up more and more with my Feet On Fire (FOF) right out of the gate. It’s concerning because FOF usually takes some time to manifest after I wake up. I’m convinced the Emperor likes to give me a false sense of security on each sunrise before the fucker pours on the gas and lights the match.

Elevated dizziness, right leg instability, and tinnitus always accompany the FOF blaze in lock step with each other. Of all these symptoms of an inflamed brain, FOF is always the worst because it’s painful instead of annoying. My attention is constantly being hijacked by the Emperor and redirected towards the pain in my feet on the worst of days. The bastid!

Even though my brain MRIs have shown no progression of existing tumors, nor no new tumors for 2+ years, the chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy in my feet and the tumor-induced numbness in my right leg have been inexplicably advancing. The neuropathy in my feet used to be localized to my toes and lower foot. Now it has advanced up past my ankles and into my calves. It feels like I have a pair of numbness Bombas socks on. Thankfully, the actual pain has stayed mostly near my toes, but the vibrational numbness has crept upwards like the vines on an elitist Ivy league school building.

The numbness in my right leg has been advancing upwards too. When it reached my hip I magically thought it would stop. Nope, it kept inching up and directly into my right ass cheek. The weird thing is that my ass cheek is now sore all of the time, not numb. It feels like someone punched me hard in the cheek.

I’m already on the max dose of gabapentin (600 mg X 3) my pain doctor is comfortable with, so the best way I found to fend off the pain on the really bad days is to start my cannabis regimen much earlier in the day and be prepared to take a second, 10 mg, dose later on. The best way I can describe how cannabis helps my condition is that the THC/CBD potion serves as a comforting buffer between the Emperor’s FOF inflicted pain and my feet. It mimics Dikembe “Not In My House” Mutumbo and temporarily blocks the Emperor from relentlessly redirecting my attention back to the pain in my tootsies. No one wants to think about their stinky feet all day! The flipside is that I have to be extra vigilant of not falling when standing/walking, especially on inclined surfaces.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer, Cannabis

My Expiration Date

Uh oh! It looks like the EOAM has informed the state, which has subsequently informed me, as to when the dirty bastid will be expiring my being as a temporary, integrated, bounded, magical, miniscule, cluster of universal energy on this earth. The Emperor is being a showoff by specifying the exact day and time at which BD00 will cease to function. His wickedness has me scheduled to croak on my personal doomsday one minute before midnight. I hope he’s waaay behind schedule (and overbudget) like the trillion dollar F-35 fighter jet fiasco.

Speaking of doomsday, here’s the Bitcoin advert for this post…

All the woke companies in the pic have courageously stepped into the Bitcoin Zone. The unwoke companies will soon face doomsdays of their own unless they follow the leaders into the BZ.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Ploddingly Slow, But Thorough

April 5, 2021 7 comments

I cracked open one of my C++ programming books recently and started leafing through it in the hope of stirring up some warm memories of my use of the language to wrestle embedded systems problems into submission. Instead, I immediately experienced a moment of existential horror! My cherished language of choice all of a sudden looked like an intimidating, unfathomable, encrypted mess. I thought for a moment that I was having my second stroke.

It’s scary at how one can forget so much so fast unless one arduously burns calories to maintain a high level of competence in an area crucial for putting food on the table.

After regaining my bearings, I realized that most programmers who know other languages but don’t know C++ experience an instance of the same abject terror when they scrutinize C++ code for the first time. It’s too bad, but it is what it is.

Before my life was abruptly upended by the Emperor, I used to be a ploddingly slow, but thorough, C++ programmer. But as anyone who has read this blog quickly discovered, I ain’t never been no genius. I had to work much harder and longer than most to become a C++ craftsman. Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000 hours to become a subject matter expert” threshold to prosperity is too low of a bar to apply to dumschitts like me. I needed 2X the time to become internally confident that I was an excellent C++ programmer. It was a difficult but satisfying road to travel because my mind was richly rewarded with the excitement of learning something new whenever I danced with C++’s exquisitely rich feature set and its “std::” (affectionately pronounced as “stood” 🙂 ) libraries in my head.

While coding away on problems, I was always thinking in the background about what I could do to help future maintainers understand the code ASAP so they could get something done without getting frustratingly stuck. I’m embarrassed and sad to admit it, but it was more of a classic, fear-based, ego-driven mission than an altruistic one. I was afraid of feeling like schitt whenever I envisioned colleagues reading my code. I yearned for everyone who read the code to say “Wow, I wish I knew this maestro!“, instead of “WTF!” after every few lines.

To drill deeper into what I’m exposing here about my dark passenger, I was firmly in the clutches of the “impostor syndrome” for most of my undecorated career. But hey, despite the fact that Stroustrup, Sutter, Meyers, Josuttis, Kalb, Lavavej, Lakos, Williams, Carruth, Niebler, Boehm, Alexandrescu, Gregory, Davidson caused my cancer ( <– just joking), it was a fun, multi-decade, journey down the C++ rabbit hole. I’m extremely gratefuI that all of those wonderful teachers took me along for the adventure.

In closing out this post, I remembered the need to blatantly include some Bitcoin propaganda in it. So, say ‘ello to my leetle friend…

I wish the tat was orange instead of black, but the artist didn’t have any orange ink in her pallet. I’ll make sure my upcoming neck tat is full Satoshi orange though.

HODL In Hell!

April 2, 2021 2 comments

While posing for my future wake, I sensed the ice cold presence of the dastardly Emperor Of All Maladies in the room. The repugnant monster has a dilemma on his creaky, boney hands when it comes to BD00. He doesn’t want to drag BD00 off to hell until he gets those claws on his Bitcoin private keys. But BD00 will never give them up. They’re gonna burn with him in hell.

BTW, does anyone know where I can get a Bitcoin couch to add to my swag collection? I checked on Wayfair, Ikea, and Etsy, but alas, it’s a no go.

Update: 1 Hour After Publishing

My good friend Jeff just sent me the link to this beauty…

It’s on order!

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Bitcoin Karen Dole Pants

March 22, 2021 Leave a comment

Before reading further, please consider that a dastardly potion of klonopin, opdivo, gabapentin, and cannabis chemicals are partially responsible for the inane content of the following post. Add in a dash of Hunter S. Thompson, Howard Stern, and Charles Bukowski, and you may get a glimpse into the awful nature of the force that poked at the keyboard during the construction of this post. The rest of the writing (dis)credit goes to BD00’s formally documented propensity for behaving like a total asshole and to his tightly-coupled co-author, the ever present Emperor Of All Maladies. The ever omniscient and omnipresent EOAM has been a constant co-author to BD00’s verbal spewings for what seems like forever now. Come to think of it, it feels like the EOAM has been dwelling in his head waaaay before the big C diagnosis.

While listening to another wise but whacky Herbert and Keiser Orange Pill Podcast, bitcoiner Mad Max brought up the name of one of the most annoying Bitcoin Karens on record, economist Nouriel Roubini. When Max launched into his Roubini rant, an image of Roubini in Bob Dole pants immediately came to mind, followed by a few other Bitcoin Karens outfitted in Dole pants. It was an uncontrollable, free association event that led to the creation of this NFT worthy graphic.

So that’s it. That’s the post. Pretty immature and cray cray, no? Why would anyone expect anything different from an insane Bitcoin Q. Maximalist like BD00?

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer Tags: ,

The Bitcoin Cancel Culture

March 15, 2021 Leave a comment

BD00 thinks all this fussin’ ’bout “cancel culture” is much ado ’bout nuthin’. But wait! There’s one humongous, earth-shattering, cancellation looming on the horizon. It’s the impending global cancellation of untrustworthy, government-controlled, fiat by the sovereign-individual controlled Bitcoin.

But alas my friends and enemas, the odds are bigly strong that BD00 will not experience one of the greatest resets in human history before the Emperor Of All Maladies cancels him. 😦

Put another way….

Yellin’ At Yellen!!!

March 10, 2021 Leave a comment

In order to get his fine art creations onto the blockchain before the NFT crypto fad is over, mentally disturbed Jackson “BD00” Pollack is frantically throwing shite on a visio canvas again. lol

After yellin’ at Yellen, BDOO then tried to haplessly troll the Emperor.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer Tags:

The Bitcoin Karen Cycle

Do you remember the “Karen” internet meme? I don’t recall the details, but for those not up to date on almost-recent events, Karen was, and no doubt still is, a chronic whiner/complainer who was caught on video raging at the counter of a convenience store about some trivial inconvenience. The video went viral and Karen had her 15 minutes of fame.

Karen reminds me of all the newly minted Bitcoin critics who crawl out of the woodwork like clockwork approximately every 2 years. These Siskel & Eberts complain about the most common criticisms of Bitcoin as if they were the first gifted people in the world to unmask Bitcoin’s dastardly underbelly. You know the type, those elite but un-informed experts (like me!) who rush to judgment on novel ideas that they’ve only superficially looked into. They’re too lazy for a deep dive and it’s in their self-interest to trash Bitcoin so that it doesn’t destroy their mental model of what hard money is and how Bitcoin is chomping away at that flat-earth model. Nom, nom, nom.

As you might deduce, many pro-Bitcoiners have put forth counter-arguments for each existential risk that the Karen Klan conjures up. Despite the periodic ruckus from the peanut gallery, Bitcoin has marched forward on its mission from god to finally hold the crooked, “capitalize the gains, socialize the losses“, bankstas to account. The grand experiment to destroy the middlemen who stand (backed by force) between you and your money and debase the dollar whenever it’s politically convenient to do so is still going strong.

Blessing The Nations Through The Covenant With Abraham ...
Categories: Cancer Tags:

A Bloated, Runaway, Bureaucratic, Quagmire Of A System

February 24, 2021 Leave a comment

In the midst of one of those, what BD00 calls, “Opdivo-induced systemic flareups”, I discovered that forcing myself to play in my blog sandbox during each event siphons most of my attention away from the numbness, crampy-ness, ear-ringing, fire-feet, wobbliness, etc, symptoms that characterize a flareup. The only other non-drug therapeutic that does the same trick is zooming with my fam and buds. It’s difficult to articulate the shift of attention, but it feels like the energy being used to animate the flareup gets rerouted into my mind to get one last blog post out into the world before… the fit hits the shan and my blogging days go kaput. Seriously, if I didn’t have the Emperor and his Orc army roaming the recesses of my body hunting for ways to wreak havoc while simultaneously avoiding the Opdivo resistance, I would not have written the previous macabre sentence.

After navigating the dangerous waters between two health insurance transitions last year, I finally settled into using medicare for the duration to pay for healthcare services. Since I’m a well known “regular” patient to my cancer doctors, nurses, and CT/MRI imaging providers, you would think that their billing services wouldn’t screw up my bills anymore, right? Bzzzzzt, no, no. Observe the latest 2 redacted bills I just received in the mail:

In an obvious exercise of incompetence, the first bill was never even submitted to medicare. The un-itemized, one line, bill was sent directly to me. WTF! On the upside, when I called the billing department they were very accommodating. The service rep recognized and fessed up to the mistake immediately. She apologized and said that whoever screwed up would be getting a nasty email for being a lazy ass.

The mistake on the second bill was that whoever composed it entered the wrong “negotiated discount” for the healthcare service provided. It was off by over $1600 in their favor, of course! After calling the billing department, I once again was treated well and the issue has been resolved (I think?). It’s very sad to see this note on the bill: “If you are currently in bankruptcy please disregard this notice.

Whenever I have to do battle with the screwed up US healthcare system, it makes me think of those poor souls who are not equipped to joust with, or are incapable of jousting with, the system’s maddening Byzantine behavior and lack of compassion for the very people it was designed to serve. It’s a bloated, runaway, bureaucratic, quagmire of a system that only cares about self-preservation and has totally abdicated its original purpose of helping sick people to get well. It’s a classic Ackoffian, dysfunctional system where the vast majority of the people performing the system’s internal functions are good, caring people but the system behavior as a whole is hostile and abhorrent to external system users.

In keeping with my recent tradition of somehow hawking Bitcoin in each post for your future salvation during the upcoming financial apocalypse, I present to you my newest Bitcoin swag item below. It’s a well crafted, hot/cold bottle that I bought off of Etsy from a seller in England. Kudos to whoever conjured up the cheeky motto: “Mass Adoption One Bottle At A Time.

Categories: Cancer
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