Bulldozer00's Blog

I try to walk, or more like, waddle, around the block every day. On those days when I feel too lightheaded, and/or my right leg feels like I’m dragging around a 200 lb cement post attached to my hip, and/or my feet feel like they’re on fire, I decide not to attempt the penguin march. I never thought I’d be saying this at my young age, but I don’t want to risk a fall and an associated trip to the dreaded, high cost, high latency, emergency room.

Since today was one of those no-waddle days, I decided to infuse some coconut oil with some cannabis flower. When I finished my wicked act of alchemy, I didn’t throw the plant residue away like I usually do. I had recently read somewhere that the leftover dog poop-like substance is still rich with cannabinoids.

As the pic below shows, the quick thinking innovator in me decided to stir the pile o’ poop into a big cup of coffee. After I finished the slightly-sandy, yet nutty-tasting, coffee, it occurred to me to write this post in real-time to capture the experience for all eternity. 🙂

Besides a handful of friends and family, I think this blog has three types of reader archetypes: engineers, cancer patients, and cannabis users. LOL. Since I personally fall into all three classifications, I’m going to try to experimentally mashup all three topics in this post and pray that it ends up being weirdly interesting in some way to each group. By that, I mean that if you make it to the end of this post you may end up shaking your head and thinking “this BD00 guy is fuckin’ nutz!“.

For The Software Engineers

In the pre-agile days of software development (before the exalted 2001 agile manifesto was written/signed), software functionality was defined and documented in “Software Requirements Specifications” (SRS). Defense contractors on large-dollar, socio-technical, projects were required to deliver a formal SRS document for each major Software Configuration Item (SCI) identified in the system to be developed.

Each SCI was decomposed into functions consisting of “Inputs, Processing, Outputs“.

For The Cannabis Users

Assuming that the “Desired Output” we require our system to produce is a stash of tasty cannabis infused brownies to alleviate pain and stress/anxiety, here’s the specific instantiation of the Inputs/Processing/Outputs string we require:

As you’ll notice, the list of Inputs/Processing/Outputs alone is insufficient for a “developer” (a.k.a. chef) to create the desired output. In order to prevent a guessing game and fucking everything up, the developer requires a chemistry-backed algorithm that scientifically transforms the inputs into the desired output using the processing equipment to facilitate the process.

To achieve that goal, BD00 is proud to present a textually annotated graphical model of his proprietary algorithm specifying the sequence of steps, timing, and control actions required to magically transform heavenly cannabis flower into deliciously effective pot brownies.

Note that the “developer” must do these 3 things in sequence to get to the holy grail:

1. Place the cannabis buds in the decarb box and heat the box in the oven at 240 degrees for 40 minutes. This prep step allows the THC/CBD cannabinoids in the flower to be exposed and absorbed by the coconut oil fats more readily and efficiently than skipping the step.
2. Combine the decarbed flower with the coconut oil in the herbal infuser and run the machine for 1 hour at 160 degrees. The temperature and timing settings ensure that most THC/CBD chemical products end up integrated with the oil molecules instead of being wasted in the “external environment“.
3. After the cannabis oil is created, the remaining sub-steps to produce the desired output is a piece of cake. The developer simply follows the idiot-proof instructions printed on the brownie box.

Of course, less efficient but less costly approaches don’t require a kool decarb box ($40) or elegant herbal infuser ($130) to be used. YouTube has plenty of hilariously good videos on using mundane and readily available kitchen equipment to make the brownies.

For The Cancer Patients

This is by far the easiest section of the post to write….

Got any kestions folks?

BD00 heartily endorses the “Profanity Plus Pot” approach to managing stage 4 cancer. The tactic is necessary, but sadly insufficient. To close the sufficiency loophole, we have to come back down to earth, bite the bullet, and engage with the world of surgery, chemo, and immunotherapy.

I used the following dorky pic in at least one post so far. My instinct tells me I’ll be using it as a “context enabler” for (hopefully) many future cancer posts…

Since I’m a newly minted medical marijuana program patient in the great state of NY, I’ve been trying to find just the right dosage of cannabis for me to effectively handle those pesky “pop up” peripheral neuropathy hot pain flashes, constant numbness in my lower extremities, and newly-acquired anxiety flare-ups. The trick is to handle those wonderful cancer complications while simultaneously remaining consciously functional on a deterministic basis.

Of course, since I was, ummmm, a moderate cannabis user when I was younger, I preferred to err on the side of over-medication. My motto back then was to gradually increase the dosage until I started: “Skirting The Zombie Threshold!“.

The pics below show examples of successful and unsuccessful dosing regimens. In the top pic, the transition from “pain” to “zombie” is quick and effective. The result is that the pain is kicked out of mind and the user lives happily in the present moment. She’s skirting the zombie threshold. Whoo Hoo!

The self-dosing attempt in the lower pic is an example of an abysmal failure. Since the zombie threshold is woefully unattained throughout the duration, thoughts of pain seize the day by holding the mind hostage to their incessant need for unfettered attention. I hate when that happens 😦

Actually, “Skirting The Zombie Threshold!” was never my motto. I just made that shite up on the fly because Eckhart Tolle told me to, and….. I’m the mighty BD00..