The Bitcoin Vandal

December 1, 2021 3 comments

I bought a pack of 50 cute Bitcoin stickers from Amazon. My grandiose exit plan is to market Bitcoin (don’t tell anyone, but I work in the Bitcoin Inc. marketing department) to humanity by defacing public and private property with these little gremlins before I go “tits up“. I used “tits up” here because when I used it in my previous post one of my dear readers said it made her breakout laughing. I love when that happens, and I hope that happens again.

I started my new criminal career as a Bitcoin vandalizer tout de suite by covertly planting a couple of my sweeties at my cancer infusion center today.

When management found out about the debasement of their property they called for a panic-stricken, hastily executed, lockdown. The police were also called to find, arrest, and prosecute the obscene vandalizer. When the lead detective strolled by looking for the perp, she walked right past me because I was incognito. They’ll be installing more surveillance cameras in 2022.

Oh, and before I go, I want to show off a beautiful, 3D printed, Bitcoin coaster that a longtime friend, whose coattails I luckily rode to financial security over decades, gave to me recently…

I put in a request to our VP director of marketing to fund a one time cache of 21 million of these swaggy collector items for free giveaways at malls. We’re also currently in negotiation with Debbie Gibson about doing a Bitcoin mall revival singing tour.

Categories: bitcoin

Global Wooziness

November 23, 2021 6 comments

I had my tri-monthly brain MRI scan last week. I scored 2 “goods” to the Emperor’s 1 “bad“.

The words “chronic hemorrhage” sound disturbingly like my death is imminent, courtesy of the sword of Damocles. The saving grace is that it’s not the first time those morbid words have appeared in one of my MRI reports. The initial shock and fear have worn off. Instead of shitting my pants, I now just say “meh” whenever I see those dastardly zingers, which is always, because they seem to appear in every MRI report. According to those reports the hemorrhaging never stops. But it must stop sometime, no? Wouldn’t my brain suffocate in a pool of blood? I guess not, because I’m still here.

At least the hemorrhaging is only chronic, not acute, and it’s only localized to each radioactive tumor site. It’s not a diffuse, “intracranial” hemorrhage, which I think would render me tits up in no time flat. It seems like there’s a never-ending, bloody war of attrition being waged at each of the tumor battle sites between cancer cells, radioactive cells, Opdivo, and healthy cells. The hemorrhaging blood is a byproduct of this nasty, multi-party, conflict taking place inside of my thick skull.

Since how I physically feel changes frequently (sometimes even intra-daily), the ebbing and flowing “war of attrition” metaphor could be the reason for the large swings. Right now, at the moment of writing this post, I’m feeling an elevated sense of “global wooziness“. It’s not like dizzy, it’s not lightheadedness, it’s somewhere in between. It’s not like drunk, it’s not like stoned, it’s somewhere in between. When I turn my head fast, it feels like there’s a time delay between the physical head turn and when my attention catches up to where my head gets finally positioned. They’re out of synch, lol.

Along with the global wooziness infiltrating my consciousness, there’s an increased level of ringing in my ears; and my feet and calves are so numb that I can feel them vibrating through my socks. The good thing is that the vibrations are masking the peripheral nerve pain in my feet that coexists with the numbness.

All or some of these side effects from the war of attrition going on in my head can subside or escalate at any time. Sustained physical activity that increases my heart rate, like walking or vigorous stretching, magnifies the symptoms at least temporarily. It is what it is and I’m dealing with it delightfully.

Happy thanksgiving. Gobble gobble!

Categories: Cancer

Instantaneously And Involuntarily

November 11, 2021 3 comments

Because of the nasty, mean, culture of the web (of which I fully admit to being a conscious contributor to), I think it’s stupid to do what I’m about to do. I’m going to expose my worst fear at the moment to the entire world. The one saving grace is that only about 2 people waste their time reading this gawd forsaken blawg.

For five years after being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, I’ve totally stunned myself at how well I’ve been mentally handling the thought of the “Sword of Damocles” lurking above my head the entire time. I’ve been hugely successful at keeping that morbid thought at bay despite the Emperor’s relentless, 24 X 7, attempts to reinsert it into my thought stream. That fucker!

So, I’ll start off with my second worst fear:

It’s when either my oncologist (after one of my tri-monthly chest/abs/pelvis CT scans) or neurosurgeon (after one of my tri-monthly brain MRI scans) utters the word “progression“.

That would mean the Opdivo immunotherapy regimen that has successfully kept the Emperor Of All Maladies at bay all this time is starting to fail. Thus, another treatment, which will be my fourth line of attack against the beast, must be chosen.

And now, for my worst fear…. Drum roll please:

My worst fear is that after hearing the dreaded “P” word, I cede total victory to the Emperor. I instantaneously and involuntarily disengage from life, giving up all hope of moving forward and receding into a stationary shell of my former psychological self. No more infectious enthusiasm, no more attempts at witty jokes, no more provocative stances, no more maniacal Bitcoin advocacy, no more weed-ingesting party animal.

So that’s it, that’s the post. Have a nice day.

Categories: Cancer Tags: , ,

Phil And The Craptoverse

October 21, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin

Fiat WTF! Vs. Bitcoin W00t!

October 8, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin

A Cancerous Bitcoin Wardrobe

September 30, 2021 Leave a comment

Checkout my new FUCK cancer wardrobe additions below. I might be buying a FUCK cancer hat in the necessarily near future, but not a FUCK cancer pillow or blanket.

My current, overarching goal is to replace all my existing 30 year old, vintage, clothes with bitcoin and FUCK cancer garb before the Emperor escorts me downstairs to my final destination.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Bitcoin Decentralized Security And Ethereum Centralized Insecurity

September 16, 2021 Leave a comment

Does a picture really tell a thousand words? I hope so cuz I don’t have the will or energy to try and explain the meaning of this NFT monstrosity.

When I’m dead and gone, which, for the haters won’t take long, people across the globe will be saying “Do you have any BD00 NFTs?”

Categories: bitcoin Tags:

The Bitcoin Decentralized House Of BDXX

September 6, 2021 Leave a comment

Bitcoin is like the Blob (and, as a selfish side note, cancer). To the abject horror of the banking elites who revel in keeping rich people rich and poor people poor, badass Bitcoin is slowly, but unapologetically, assimilating all things financial across the globe.

But wait! It’s worse than that. The Bitcoin ethos is infiltrating minds and bodies quicker than the otherworldly Body Snatchers (Donald Sutherland rules!).

As a concrete example of a gathering of humans who’ve been consumed by Bitcoin, I give you the Bitcoin Decentralized House Of BDXX:

Categories: bitcoin

Books, Weed, And Bitcoin Swag

August 31, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin

A Contrast In Crypto Governance

August 18, 2021 Leave a comment

Since the EOAM has been forcefully pushed to the back of the thought-line yet again, another much appreciated moment of lucidity in thought allowed me to concoct this monstrosity…

The Bitcoin protocol dynamically creates a new, virtualized form of “hard” money. The network protects Bitcoin token owners from sneaky central bank and/or governmental shenanigans. As evidenced by 12 years of relentless, round-the-clock operation, Bitcoin’s minimal functionality and layered design keep the network secure and minimize attack surfaces that can be exploited by nation state hackers. By design, it’s hard to change the Bitcoin source code because all the following events must occur to successfully develop and deploy any changes:

The developers have to agree on what functionality to add,

The miners have to agree to run the modified software,

The users have to continuously believe in the integrity of the protocol or else…

they will abandon Bitcoin for the old, rigged, fiat system or worse, a centralized shitcoin deceptively promoting itself as decentralized, or, equivalently, a DINO (Decentralized In Name Only). Whereas DINO shitcoins primarily exist to make the peeps at the top of their centralized pyramids rich, Bitcoin exists for one audacious reason: to give every person on earth an equal chance of participating in unobstructed commerce to help bootstrap themselves out of poverty.

Categories: bitcoin
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