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The Scanxiety Cycle

I’ve used the beloved word several times before, but this is the first time I put it in the title of a post:

Scanxiety

Every stage 4 cancer patient gets to experience the infamous scanxiety cycle. It’s also known among the elites as the “periodic parabolic fever“, with the periodicity nominally being 3 months between CT scans. Rather than try to explain this natural phenomena in a bumbling word salad, I’m going to present my understanding of the meaning of scanxiety in the form of one of my dorky, 20th century, graphics:

Before the terminal diagnosis, the baseline anxiety level of a cancer patient is somewhere between the  “No Fear” level and the “Nervous” level. Somewhat shortly (sometimes as short as a picosecond) after the devilish diagnosis is bequeathed upon the poor soul, this baseline anxiety level instantaneously leaps up to the “Scared Shitless!” level. The scanxiety cycle rollercoaster then jerks into action and the fun begins, until it ends, which it will.

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