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Bitcoin Karen Dole Pants
Before reading further, please consider that a dastardly potion of klonopin, opdivo, gabapentin, and cannabis chemicals are partially responsible for the inane content of the following post. Add in a dash of Hunter S. Thompson, Howard Stern, and Charles Bukowski, and you may get a glimpse into the awful nature of the force that poked at the keyboard during the construction of this post. The rest of the writing (dis)credit goes to BD00’s formally documented propensity for behaving like a total asshole and to his tightly-coupled co-author, the ever present Emperor Of All Maladies. The ever omniscient and omnipresent EOAM has been a constant co-author to BD00’s verbal spewings for what seems like forever now. Come to think of it, it feels like the EOAM has been dwelling in his head waaaay before the big C diagnosis.
While listening to another wise but whacky Herbert and Keiser Orange Pill Podcast, bitcoiner Mad Max brought up the name of one of the most annoying Bitcoin Karens on record, economist Nouriel Roubini. When Max launched into his Roubini rant, an image of Roubini in Bob Dole pants immediately came to mind, followed by a few other Bitcoin Karens outfitted in Dole pants. It was an uncontrollable, free association event that led to the creation of this NFT worthy graphic.
So that’s it. That’s the post. Pretty immature and cray cray, no? Why would anyone expect anything different from an insane Bitcoin Q. Maximalist like BD00?
The Bitcoin Cancel Culture
BD00 thinks all this fussin’ ’bout “cancel culture” is much ado ’bout nuthin’. But wait! There’s one humongous, earth-shattering, cancellation looming on the horizon. It’s the impending global cancellation of untrustworthy, government-controlled, fiat by the sovereign-individual controlled Bitcoin.
But alas my friends and enemas, the odds are bigly strong that BD00 will not experience one of the greatest resets in human history before the Emperor Of All Maladies cancels him. 😦
Put another way….
Yellin’ At Yellen!!!
In order to get his fine art creations onto the blockchain before the NFT crypto fad is over, mentally disturbed Jackson “BD00” Pollack is frantically throwing shite on a visio canvas again. lol
After yellin’ at Yellen, BDOO then tried to haplessly troll the Emperor.
The Cryptosphere
There are thousands of shitcoins polluting the cryptosphere. I chose a few of the most well known stinkers along with the immortal king of crypto to produce the following work of art…
How the hell do I get an NFT (Non-Fungible Token) for this brilliant work of divine art and who the hell wants to bid on it? lol
How about this piece of work? lol
The Bitcoin Smiley Model
Before writing about the intended content of this post, I felt compelled to whine and complain about my physical status in the moment. So, here goes.
My feet are vibrating and numb from the ankles down, my toes are involuntarily curled up, my ears are ringing, my right leg feels like it’s loosely coupled to my hip with badly frayed strings, my right leg muscles are fatigued and crampy from an unrelenting tightness, the arthritis in my right shoulder is inflamed to the point where it painfully limits my arm motion, my sense of balance is quite wobbly due to a low level of continuous dizziness, and my mind is in a Schoedinger’s cat superposition of both a dunkin’ “explorer batch” coffee high and a cannabis brownie high.
Since I think my Opdivo-juiced immune system T-cells are on another impromptu, instantaneous rampage searching for more poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma cancer cells to annihilate, I think the swarm is once again responsible for the above-mentioned collateral damage. The tradeoff is surely worth it, but the next time I see my oncologist after my upcoming CT scan I’m going to discuss the possibility of taking what we in the community call a “chemo holiday“.
Now that I got the poor-me cancer complaint off my chest, it’s time to talk about Bitcoin yet again. At some unknown point in time, the Bitcoin Smiley Model (BSM) crossed the chasm in my mind from formless energy to a formed thought. The BSM is a simplified abstraction of the following bitcoin price chart from Bitcoin advocate Dan “HODL” Held. And yes, his real last name is “Held”. Thus, he was destined to be a Bitcoiner at birth.
As I studied the chart of successive parabolas, it looked as though it was smiling at me. Hence, after an uncontrollable but innate urge to create consumed me and directed my attention away from my physical distress, I iteratively doodled in visio in a high speed mode where thoughts for improvements raced through my mind faster than I could capture and draw them. When I felt satisfied with the look and feel of the “done done” product, I stopped and reveled in the sacred moment of communication between the creator and the created. With that said, I share with you my masterpiece, the BSM…
The model suggests that the price of Bitcoin may bump up against a ceiling sometime in the future. The value of the ceiling is a newly discovered universal constant, kBDOO , named after its discoverer, me, BD00. Since our lord Satoshi, the god of money, is the only other person on earth to know what the value of kBDOO is, BD00 has made a pact with Satoshi to keep it secret for the good of all mankind. But once again, don’t forget…
But wait! I don’t make any of the cancer shit up. It’s the real deal. It’s the non-cancer stuff that I make up.
A Two Month Journey
I started to worry that I might die at the hand of the emperor before I received it, but I didn’t. My precious has finally arrived from a distant land! The ring is a lovely piece of work. It looks and feels like it is an artifact from the classic “Game Of Thrones” HBO series.
Bitcoin Clarity
I feel really bad for not posting what I’m about to write much earlier, but I’m grateful that I AM finally posting it. It’s about a heartwarming experience that I was gifted and I want to share it with you.
Kiara Bickers is a splendid young lady who works at one of the premier companies in cryptospace: Blockstream Inc. I used to hate the company when I first became enamored with Bitcoin because I thought they were on the wrong side of the vicious scaling war back when it started in 2015. I was a hard core Ver/Andresen/Garza/Hearn fan back then and I erroneously thought Blockstream management was trying to steer the Bitcoin core software development team in a direction that would unfairly give their evil, venture-capital-backed company an advantage over their ecosystem layer 2 competitors.
As my Bitcoin knowledge evolved and I watched the brutal scaling war unfold, I came to the realization that Blockstream (except for the (still) vile Samson Mow) was one of the good guys. The CEO, Adam Back, is the inventor of HashCash. Lord Satoshi rightfully mentions Mr. Back’s HashCash work in the references section of his world-changing white paper. Because of this fact, many latecomers to Bitcoin think Adam is Satoshi.
Ahh, but I digress from the main storyline yet again, as is common with schizophrenic writers like me whose thoughts frantically ricochet back and forth against the internal boundaries of my skull and are sullied by the three dormant tumors asleep in that dungeon.
So, back to the real subject of this post. About a year ago, Ms. Bickers contacted me on LinkedIn. When she was writing an intro book to Bitcoin titled “Bitcoin Clarity” Kiara said she stumbled upon my blasphemous blog while researching the topic of “systems thinking“.
As you might guess, I was thrilled to hear from Kiara. She graciously offered up a hardcopy of her book for me to read and she pinned a really nice note on the inside cover.
Since its been a year since I read Bitcoin Clarity, I’m not going to try to do an in depth review of its content here. I do remember though when I started reading Kiara’s delightful book I quickly understood her affinity for systems thinking. She used her systems thinking skills to artfully sketch, structure, and weave the book’s content together into a uniquely crafted combo of art and science.
Please dwell for a moment on a sampling of Kiara’s sketching skills below. Note how she artfully leaves out the Bitcoin miners in between the peers so as not to unnecessarily complicate the picture for her targeted beginner audience. Please note that the nasty saying in red is not in the book. It’s BD00’s dastardly graffiti pointing out one of the main reasons Bitcoin exists.
Thank you dear Kiara for providing me with some sunshine from across the internet. I wish you lots of future success and I wish I had the opportunity to meet you in real life. Keep writing and keep Bitcoining your way to a life of fun, happiness, and most importantly, good health. Lots of kisses to you dear young lady!
In(finite) Transit
Being an insane Bitcoin psycho, I’m constantly on the lookout for some new swag to show off my allegiance to the cult of Satoshi. I currently have Bitcoin socks, a jacket, several hats, a towel, a pillow, a bracelet, a hoodie, a ring, a sweater, several tee shirts, several masks, and several polo shirts.
Etsy is my favorite go-to store to check for new Bitcoin gear. I found this silver beauty and bought it from a vendor in Ukraine just after Thanksgiving…
My ring shipped on December 1, 2020. Here I am, it’s January 9, 2021 and I still haven’t gotten my precious yet.
As you can see from the tracking record below, the USPS is playing hot potato with my swag. My precious seems to have entered an infinite, Escher-like, transit loop.
I hope I get my precious before the EOAM takes me out. I want to be cremated with it on my finger.
The Easiest And The Best
The relentless Bitcoin honey badger has ramped up her increasingly effective, 11 year old, clandestine, catastrophic assault on the archaic, fractional banking industry.
Due to Bitcoin’s latest resurrection from the dead, people have been asking me once again what is the best way to jump onto the Bitcoin bandwagon. The best, but most technically challenging, way to participate in the emerging Bitcoin economy is to follow these 3 steps:
1) Open an account on a well known crypto exchange (coinbase.com, kraken.com, etc) and link it to your fiat checking account.
2) Buy some bitcoin (no shitcoins, please!) with some of your fiat. The exchange will charge a service fee for the conversion and your bitcoin will be deposited in a “custodial” onsite wallet that you can access anytime.
3) Send the bitcoin from your exchange’s “custodial” wallet to your very own personal software or hardware wallet(s). This is what bitcoiners call “taking personal responsibility“, or heeding this advice: “not your keys, not your bitcoin“. Keeping your bitcoin out of the easy reach of “authorities” who can disappear it from you faster than you can say “WTF!” gives you full control over the wealth you store in bitcoin, as it should be for hard working people in any country.
Executing step number 3 requires a modest amount of technical prowess that most people don’t have, or don’t want to have. That’s fine as long as they understand the risk of leaving their bitcoin keys in the hands of someone or thing you have no choice but to “trust“.
A less sexy but easier way of penetrating the Bitcoin universe is to buy shares in a company that either directly holds some bitcoin in its treasury or has integrated the Bitcoin protocol into its business models. Woke companies like Microstrategy ($MSTR), Square Inc. ($SQ), and Paypal ($PYPL) come to mind.
Still others are entering the Bitcoin Zone via Hedge Funds, but ya hafta be pretty rich to be able to puncture through that tight-ass entry point.
Just a couple of years ago, these last two big-money on ramps didn’t even exist. No one with pockets that deep would even glance in Bitcoin’s direction without holding their nose in disdain of the high tech ponzi abomination. But today, the traffic seems to be thickening at a greater pace on each on ramp. The highway crew has even commenced building a bunch of new, huge-ass, on ramps for enlightened central banks. Something in the air smells parabolic.
Gradually, then suddenly
Why am I here?
WTF?
Meh!
D'oh!
My BTC Address
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