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Bitcoin Vandals Out Of Control!

December 8, 2021 Leave a comment

Bitcoin vandalism has proliferated across the nation faster than you can say “omicron“.

Before the scourge turns into another world-wide pandemic threat to humanity, emergency congressional hearings have been scheduled to start tomorrow on capitol hill. In a stunning show of bipartisanship intended to emphasize how serious the problem is, Pelosi and McCarthy held hands at the press conference during the announcement of the unprecedented hearings. They pledged to coerce Jay Powell into cranking up the fiat printing presses from 9 to10. We’re totally fekked!

Categories: bitcoin

The Bitcoin Vandal

December 1, 2021 3 comments

I bought a pack of 50 cute Bitcoin stickers from Amazon. My grandiose exit plan is to market Bitcoin (don’t tell anyone, but I work in the Bitcoin Inc. marketing department) to humanity by defacing public and private property with these little gremlins before I go “tits up“. I used “tits up” here because when I used it in my previous post one of my dear readers said it made her breakout laughing. I love when that happens, and I hope that happens again.

I started my new criminal career as a Bitcoin vandalizer tout de suite by covertly planting a couple of my sweeties at my cancer infusion center today.

When management found out about the debasement of their property they called for a panic-stricken, hastily executed, lockdown. The police were also called to find, arrest, and prosecute the obscene vandalizer. When the lead detective strolled by looking for the perp, she walked right past me because I was incognito. They’ll be installing more surveillance cameras in 2022.

Oh, and before I go, I want to show off a beautiful, 3D printed, Bitcoin coaster that a longtime friend, whose coattails I luckily rode to financial security over decades, gave to me recently…

I put in a request to our VP director of marketing to fund a one time cache of 21 million of these swaggy collector items for free giveaways at malls. We’re also currently in negotiation with Debbie Gibson about doing a Bitcoin mall revival singing tour.

Categories: bitcoin

Phil And The Craptoverse

October 21, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin

Fiat WTF! Vs. Bitcoin W00t!

October 8, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin

A Cancerous Bitcoin Wardrobe

September 30, 2021 Leave a comment

Checkout my new FUCK cancer wardrobe additions below. I might be buying a FUCK cancer hat in the necessarily near future, but not a FUCK cancer pillow or blanket.

My current, overarching goal is to replace all my existing 30 year old, vintage, clothes with bitcoin and FUCK cancer garb before the Emperor escorts me downstairs to my final destination.

Categories: bitcoin, Cancer

Bitcoin Decentralized Security And Ethereum Centralized Insecurity

September 16, 2021 Leave a comment

Does a picture really tell a thousand words? I hope so cuz I don’t have the will or energy to try and explain the meaning of this NFT monstrosity.

When I’m dead and gone, which, for the haters won’t take long, people across the globe will be saying “Do you have any BD00 NFTs?”

Categories: bitcoin Tags:

The Bitcoin Decentralized House Of BDXX

September 6, 2021 Leave a comment

Bitcoin is like the Blob (and, as a selfish side note, cancer). To the abject horror of the banking elites who revel in keeping rich people rich and poor people poor, badass Bitcoin is slowly, but unapologetically, assimilating all things financial across the globe.

But wait! It’s worse than that. The Bitcoin ethos is infiltrating minds and bodies quicker than the otherworldly Body Snatchers (Donald Sutherland rules!).

As a concrete example of a gathering of humans who’ve been consumed by Bitcoin, I give you the Bitcoin Decentralized House Of BDXX:

Categories: bitcoin

Books, Weed, And Bitcoin Swag

August 31, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin

A Contrast In Crypto Governance

August 18, 2021 Leave a comment

Since the EOAM has been forcefully pushed to the back of the thought-line yet again, another much appreciated moment of lucidity in thought allowed me to concoct this monstrosity…

The Bitcoin protocol dynamically creates a new, virtualized form of “hard” money. The network protects Bitcoin token owners from sneaky central bank and/or governmental shenanigans. As evidenced by 12 years of relentless, round-the-clock operation, Bitcoin’s minimal functionality and layered design keep the network secure and minimize attack surfaces that can be exploited by nation state hackers. By design, it’s hard to change the Bitcoin source code because all the following events must occur to successfully develop and deploy any changes:

The developers have to agree on what functionality to add,

The miners have to agree to run the modified software,

The users have to continuously believe in the integrity of the protocol or else…

they will abandon Bitcoin for the old, rigged, fiat system or worse, a centralized shitcoin deceptively promoting itself as decentralized, or, equivalently, a DINO (Decentralized In Name Only). Whereas DINO shitcoins primarily exist to make the peeps at the top of their centralized pyramids rich, Bitcoin exists for one audacious reason: to give every person on earth an equal chance of participating in unobstructed commerce to help bootstrap themselves out of poverty.

Categories: bitcoin

Stack Em Up

August 1, 2021 Leave a comment
Categories: bitcoin
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