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Super Secret Recipe

January 8, 2011 Leave a comment

Wanna know what the super secret recipe is for building an impenetrable UCB pyramid? OK, you said no – but that t’aint gonna stop me from loosening my lips and sinking ships. Here we go…..

  1. Directly or (better yet) vicariously experience a real-life situation involving people in which the outcome is a “surprise” to you.
  2. Judge the outcome as absolutely good or bad (no gradations allowed!)
  3. Strip and discard all messy contextual meaning from the situation.
  4. If you judged the outcome as “good”, then ignore it and kick out of this recipe – you’re done! Otherwise…..
  5. Concoct a reason why the outcome turned out “bad”.
  6. By removing all the uncomfortable details that don’t align with your existing UCB, vertically abstract your interpretation of the reason for the outcome.
  7. Horizontally generalize your cause-effect conclusion to subsume any and all situations with any remote resemblance to the experienced situation.
  8. Pour mental concrete around your newly discovered nugget of knowledge and jam it somewhere into your growing UCB pyramid.
  9. Pat yourself on the back for “knowing” how the world worx. Whoo Hoo!

Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day. – Bertrand Russell

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