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No Person Should Ever Have To Feel That Way
Many years ago, I was accused of serially hurting a co-worker’s feelings with face-to-face word barrages and e-mail bombshells. At the time, I was told:
No person should ever have to feel that way.
I was also warned that “it better not happen again“.
Recently, a long time, loyal, and dedicated employee left my company. Since I was surprised and he is my friend, I asked him what happened. He openly and honestly recounted his side of the tragic story that led to his resignation. After he finished, I thought to myself:
No person should ever have to feel that way.
I also heard the other side of the story. After reflecting on both versions, I repeated to myself:
No person should ever have to feel that way.
Work Life Balance
Since I develop software for a living, I’m not fully on board with Richard Stallman‘s radical views regarding free software. However, in an interview with the author of the book “Making It Big In Software” (which is pathetically patronizing and patriarchical – so don’t buy it), Richard answers the question:
How do you achieve a work-life balance? How do you keep your software life from dominating everything?
with
Why would I want to do that? ….. This is not just a pastime and not just a job. It’s the most important thing I know any way to do. I’m proud of it, and when I achieve something, I am very satisfied. It should be the main focus of my life, and it is.
I’m on board with that. I go on week-long fishing, golfing, and Mardi Gras jaunts, but other than that, I love specifying, architecting, designing, writing, and testing software. I feel the same way about what I do as Richard does about his passion.
How about you? Is the line of demarcation between your work and your life blurry, or fine? Do you think it’s “bad” if someone doesn’t clearly distinguish between “work” and “life”?
Pompous?
In “Hackers And Painters“, Paul Graham writes:
Beginning writers adopt a pompous tone that doesn’t sound anything like the way they speak.
Hmmm. When I read that, I thought “Does this quote apply to me?“. Since I’m embedded within the system of interest here, (which is me, me, me, of course!) and not an external observer, I’m not qualified to answer the question. There’s one person that I interact with almost daily that I know reads this blog semi-regularly. If he’s reading the post, could he please profer his opinion?
How Many Tines….
…does a fork have? Hoytee-toytee forks have three, and regular-people forks have four. On a totally different plane of thought, how many tines have you considered taking decisive action on something that really mattered to you but decided not to because of your fear of “what other people (especially the hoytee-toytee dudes with authority over you) would think“? Even worse, how many tines have you not taken action on something important to you, but you didn’t know you remained inert because you weren’t aware of your subconscious tendency to submit to authority? Obviously, you couldn’t count how many tines you did this because if you weren’t aware, you wouldn’t have any freakin’ idea of when to increment your counter.
It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all.”- William James
Play ISTY For Me
In my experience, the more raw technical knowledge an engineer acquires, the more the tendency for him/her to drift unconsciously into ego-centricity and arrogance. The more specialized the knowledge, the more the arrogance. Having personally overcome this malady to at least some extent, I’m facing a conundrum with a brilliant younger colleague. The conundrum is how to teach the youngster to internalize a sense of humility while trying to remain somewhat humble myself.
Like many academically smart kids with a few years of programming experience under his belt, this kid knows a lot of details about a few topics in software engineering (if it can be called engineering) along with a few details about a bunch of others – especially more abstract subjects like large scale design and architecture. On the topics he has little knowledge of (but just enough to be dangerous), he makes sweeping generalizations that I know aren’t correct based on my long but undistinguished career. However, when I try to gently poke holes in his sweeping generalizations and assertions, he digs in. I then lose my patience and tend to get sucked into the awful, I’m-Smarter-Than-You (ISTY) game. The irony of the situation is that my young friend doesn’t lose patience and he stays “cooler” than I do while playing ISTY. D’oh! Because of this ability to remain cool, ignorant, and overconfident, he no doubt has the makings of a future bozo-type manager. Alas, I hope he doesn’t choose that path because he is truly a remarkable technical contributor who creates value.
Oh well, life would be boring without challenges (<- that’s bozo-management-speak for “problems”) to overcome.
The Meeting Surrogate
How’s this for a new product idea, “The Meeting Surrogate“. It’s a gadget that hooks up to your phone and participates in call-in conference meetings for you – freeing you up to do whatever you’d like. When you power it on and press its “Start BS” button, it intelligently monitors the conversations and strategically voices out words and phrases like “uh huh”, “yes – yes”, “I get it”, “very insightful”, “nice”, “understood”, “got it”, at appropriate times during the yawnfest.
“The Meeting Surrogate” is extendable. You could program in catchy new phrases as you think of them when you’re offline. You pre-configure “The Meeting Surrogate” by speaking into it so that it can process and store a replica of the pitch, tone, and inflections of your voice.
Do ya think it would sell to the Dilbert crowd? How much should it cost?
Meetings are a refuge from the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thinking – Bernard Barush
Past, Present, Future
I can’t remember who said it, but;
Feedback is information given in the present about behavior in the past that can be used to modify behavior in the future.
Just because feedback can be used to modulate future behavior doesn’t mean it actually will be used. Depending on the quality of the relationship between the feedback provider and the feedback receiver, the feedback may be taken to heart or it may be ignored. If the feedback receiver has little respect for the feedback provider, regardless of whether the provider is the receiver’s so-called “superior”, the feedback will be ignored. Oh sure, the receiver’s behavior may appear to superficially change out of fear, but counterproductive behind-the-scenes behavior will be guaranteed if the feedback is delivered as an “or else” ultimatum. On the other hand, if there is a two way connection of respect and trust between provider and receiver, the receiver’s behavior may change – if the receiver agrees with the provider’s assessment and it strikes an emotional chord within the receiver’s being.
Emotional energy, not logical deduction, is the driver of behavior. So stop being puzzled when people don’t behave “logically”.
Geeks Bearing Formulas
Since there are so few champions that have successfully leveraged simplicity to paradoxically conquer complexity, and he is one of them, legendary investor Warren Buffet is high on my hero and mentor list. Check these jewels out:
All I can say is, beware of geeks … bearing formulas. – Warren Buffet
The business schools reward difficult complex behavior more than simple behavior, but simple behavior is more effective. – Warren Buffet
Jumpin’ Out
If you’re deeply embedded in a complex social system, it’s incredibly difficult to gain any insight into what the system you’re enmeshed in really does, or how it does what it does. Even though you’re an integral element of the system, your view is most likely obscured by your lack of interest in finding out or, more likely, by a lack of communication from the dudes in the penthouse. All you can see are trees. No forest, and no sun above the treetops.
A great way of “jumping out of the system” to get a better view and understanding is by modeling. By taking a stab at modeling the static structures and dynamic behaviors of the system you’re in, you can get a much better feel for what’s going on.
A formal language like UML or SysML paired with a good visual drawing tool like Visio can be a powerful tool set to help you gain perspective, but all you really need is a pencil and paper to start things off. Since your first few iterations will suck and be totally wrong, you’ll be throwing away lots of wood pulp if you don’t use an electronic tool. If you stick with it, you’ll acquire an understanding of what really happens in your system as opposed to what is espoused by those in charge.
All models are wrong, but some are useful. – George Box
Not Baffling
“Increasingly, people seem to misinterpret complexity as sophistication, which is baffling—the incomprehensible should cause suspicion rather than admiration. Possibly this trend results from a mistaken belief that using a somewhat mysterious device confers an aura of power on the user.” – Niklaus Wirth
Niklaus, it’s not baffling. People do it because, in a society that adores academic intelligence over all else, they don’t want to look and feel stupid in front of others. By acting as though they admire an incomprehensible monstrosity that they don’t understand, the people around them (especially the creators of the untenable complexity) will think they are smart and sophisticated too.
Regardless of whether the “misinterpretation” happens consciously or unconsciously, it’s ego driven. I know this because I’ve done it many times…….. both consciously and unconsciously.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” – Albert Einstein
Why am I here?
WTF?
Meh!
D'oh!
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