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Tracking Trends

In preparation for future skyrocketing and skydiving Bitcoin price trends, I’ve purchased a cute little WiFi crypto ticker device from Etsy.com. I can now track the wild, bucking bronco cryptocurrency in near real-time without having to pick up my phone or computer.

 

As you can see from my artfully staged photo shoot above, I’ve strategically placed my ticker tape device on my “convalescent” table. It sits surrounded by my wrist blood pressure meter, my Australian Dream topical foot cream, my synthroid/gabapentin meds, my ceiling fan control, and my beloved Glide dental floss. What more could a stage 4 cancer patient want?

The only problem is that the damn thing doesn’t fuckin’ work!

 

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