Home > Cancer > Nice Blue Tats!

Nice Blue Tats!

Ok, ok. Get your mind out of the gutter, damn it! The last word in the title of this post has the letter “a” in it, not “i“.

Now that you are (unlike I am) thinking clearly again, we can move forward.

I met with my radiologist yesterday to discuss the plan for radiating the two moderately growing cancer lymph nodes in my body. Thank god it didn’t turn into a “Ground Hog” replay at the office. After discussing and consenting to the plan, I cut a clean getaway out of the facility without being carted off in an ambulance to the ER like last week.

According to the plan, I will undergo a “coordinate mapping” CT scan on Monday to precisely annotate where the radiation beams will soon be focused to obliterate the DNA of the emperor’s two, advancing orcs. During the process, the radiology team will imprint a series of small, blue, millimeter-sized, permanent, “tats in the appropriate locations to ensure total annihilation.

 

After being prepped, each of the emperor’s two disgusting orcs will be zapped once a day for 10 consecutive working days (a “real” two week scrum sprint!). The good thing about the plan is that I don’t have to suspend my Opdivo immunotherapy infusions while undergoing the radiation treatments.

I do not yet know the exact day of the initial radioactive assault, but I do know that another CT scan will then be performed a month after the last day to determine the effectiveness of the treatment. Until then, it’s time to chillax a little with some, um, “essential” oil therapy…

Categories: Cancer Tags: ,
  1. July 19, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    Really? You’re mixing Star Wars and LOTR?

    • July 19, 2019 at 8:01 pm

      Haha. I’m a Frankensteinian integrator and synthesizer of new monstrosities.

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