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Committee Performance Metrics

A favorite and frequent activity undertaken by corpocrats everywhere is the formation of committees and special task forces to “aggressively” tackle and solve pressing org problems that are negatively affecting the performance of the corpocracy’s DICforce. The typical cycle of events is as follows:

  • 1) The committee of elites is formed to “help” the DICforce do their jobs better.
  • 2) After: a)  several months of meetings with half-assed attendance, b) infinite BS sessions where nothin’ of substance is produced or propagated downward, c) there’s no detectable performance improvement from those dwelling in the cellar, and d) gobs of money have been consumed, the committee sponsor (a.k.a. the money supplier) asks for measures of performance to judge whether his/her investment is paying off.
  • 3) The committee conjures up some BS “camouflage” metrics that feign problem solving prowess and progress (see the figure below for examples).
  • 4) The sponsor buys into the BS set of metrics and the resource drain continues.
  • 5) Go to step 2).

You’d think that a meaningful metric could be obtained by periodically polling the people that the elite committee is supposed to be helping – the DICforce. Do you think many committees, councils, task forces, centers of excellence, yada-yada-yada, do this? If not, why do you think that is the case?

  1. Ray
    December 14, 2009 at 8:21 am

    The corporation is a bureaucracy to begin with. All bureaucracies (gov’t and priv) will form committees to study, report and suggest. It is the old slight of hand method. Look we addressing the problem while the normal unchanged business goes on. The only time this changes (at least in the US) is when there is terminal point or a T in the road. You can either go left or right (metaphorically). Most organizations will go straight at any intersection because it is easier but they are a telling you they are thinking about another route.

    • December 14, 2009 at 8:46 am

      Some corpo dolts still go straight when there is only a “T” in the road – Boom! It’s accident city and a trip to bankruptcy court for those leaderless ships. After the wreckage has run it’s course, everyone steps back, scratches their head, and asks “what happened”? Duh.

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