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Schedule Policy

Sched Allegiance

Just about every corpo mediocracy in the world has a proverbial “Quality Policy” that it proudly displays all over the place. The inspirational words of wisdom, that hierarchs profess staunch adherence to, are inscribed on framed posters, and/or cute little magnetic sheets. These false idols are distributed far and wide within the cathedral walls for everyone to worship.

However, everyone down in the boiler room knows that the true corpo allegiance is to schedule. How do the serfs know this? It’s easy, and it doesn’t require an Einsteinian intellect to figure it out. Just walk around the cubicle farm and count the number of times you hear managers mention the word “quality”. Then count the number of times that you hear “schedule”. Voila, you then have your answer, and it doesn’t involve rocket science math. Companies that have higher schedule to quality ratios are much more likely to fill the ranks of the average and boring herd.

Schedule worship, at whatever the human and organizational cost, is one of those issues that Chris Argyris calls “undiscussable”. Anyone who points out the fact that the quality policy is actually a lame attempt to camouflage the true and unconditional allegiance to schedule, gets beheaded in true shoot-the-messenger form. Nobody in their right mind “discusses” the quality versus schedule irony because, well, it’s “undiscussable”.  🙂

I propose that all companies develop, distribute, and display their very own authentic schedule policy. One could go something like this:

“The Duefiss corporation is proudly dedicated to meeting schedule. Our allegiance is unconditional. At Duefiss Inc., we will aggressively cut every corner and apply any amount of pressure to our human resources to meet any schedule. It doesn’t matter how laughable or unrealistic  any given schedule is. We will commit our minions to it, no matter what the consequences to them, their families, our product quality, or our long term credibility and profitability. When we fall behind the hallowed schedule, we guarantee to turn up the heat on those responsible for the slip, and increase the frequency of status meetings to reinforce our commitment.”

What would your schedule policy be?

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