Bulldozer00's Blog

I’m lucky to have a job with variety. Most of the time, I’m either specifying, designing, writing, documenting, or fixing software that enhances or keeps our product portfolio viable. However, not all project work is equi-important to the company’s prosperity.

Some of the projects that I work on are bland, menial, and they don’t contribute much to the development of my company. When I work on these types of projects, I tend to feel guilty, overpaid, and like an under-performer. Accordingly, my behavior changes to align with those feelings. I turn inward, I’ m less interactive with others,  and I’m less likely to observe, sense, and provide “controversial” input on socio-technical issues that I perceive to be holding the company back.

On the other side of the coin, when I work on challenging and intense work that I perceive is propelling the company forward, I gravitate towards ego-centric feelings of arrogance and superiority. I feel underpaid, under-appreciated, and overworked (boo hoo!). I become a “legend in my own mind“.

In either mode of behavior, it’s real easy to lose perspective and alienate co-workers and leaders. The key to balanced behavior during these high and low tides, which I haven’t yet figured out how to turn, is to recognize when I’m deep into one mode or the other.

How about you? Do you oscillate between extremes? Do you continuously dwell in one of the extreme states? Are you always Buddha-centered? If so, how do you know you are?